Fulfillment

Maybe I should call this fulfillment - I (sight) as we speak.

Fulfillment?  - she asks

Yeah, some sort of fullness in your deeper self, if that will explain it better - I answer without knowing what else to say

Ful fill ment - she says spreading each syllable away from another 

Her eyes roll to that upper corner, where memories get retrieved. A thoughtful face suddenly appears.

I observe her, wondering what is going to come out from her soul this time. 
I feel like a boy on a Christmas eve, waiting to see what present is there for me.

She notice my excitement and smiles back, like saying - it isn't Christmas and is not a gift - She blushes. 

There are mostly likely thousand of thought running through her head at the present moment, you could almost hear the engines roaring.

After that blush, there is always that smile I love to see. It reflects kidness, sweetness and is incredibly welcoming.

Then she sits back in her power zone,  ready to aim and shot that idea that just formed in her brain.

I still ask myself why I dedicate so much time to see her through. I might be an idiotic nonsense kind of guy!

But even if I tried not to, it seems impossible! Is like a clear language spoken to me through all my channels. Trust me - no one can resist that!

Anyway, going back to the story...

I believe I might understand what you say - she says with a steady voice.

You mean, that kind of moments when joy overflows you. When it basically transform into a whole body experience - the words were coming out as she she closed her eyes 

Something like feeling connected with bigger thing, like a subtle link that connects you to the universe and only for fractions of seconds you become fully aware of it - she says while trying to express with her body that it is an exquisite' 

I hear, but don't show sign of agreement. This is my recurring story - I have no words to express what she just provoked upon me one more time

Overflow she says, overflow is what I feel with those words. With this contempted desire that seems not to have space to be fulfilled.

I smile and stay in silence. As a signal of surrender - hoping she understand if
No more talk for today my brain says, I have been overwhelmed by something I can't understand.



V.

Time (to) fly-ies

Good morning - the sun says through my window.

Good morning - I reply with a smile, while thinking: life is a wonderful place to be, even better when the sun shines

Get ready, to fight another round. One more time, one more step, one more day.

Think about last minute things:

3 seconds before landing
1 day before trip
1 week before the move 
1 year before a known death 
...Last minute is such relative thing

Drive all the way to my next destination. Time awaits nobody!

It will tic-tac its seconds away regardless of what you do with them.


This explains why we have developed ways to buy time:

Fast track
Outsourced services
Speedy transportation 
Food processor 
'get me and free up some time' - is their tag line

I always wonder what people do with that 'extra' time. 
Do they spend it working more, just to complain when they are older
...Or maybe feeling sad for things that already happened or are yet to be

What will I do with that 'extra' time?
Why will I want more? 
Isn't 90 years in average long enough to enjoy s***t lots?!

Jump quickly to my next thought:
My next destinations... Time will take me there, as a ride on it's wormhole, where I'm permanently living.

If time was a human made product it will say: 

This automated machine will run without maintenance.
Will transport you through a linear universe, one where the parallelism will be imperceptible.
Recognized worldwide
Life time warranty! 


Certain conditions apply:
Partial disconnection from other universes 
No refund after purchase
Speed control not included No fast forwards or playback allowed 
Secondary effects might occur  such as:
Anxiety about death 
Aging body sensation 

Tested and approved by the prestigious Time Science Association
More than 7 billion sold!
Get yours now
Limited stocks 


And the speakers turn on, announcing that it is my time to depart. 
Sending the train of thoughts onto another direction.

My time...
fast forward,
slow down - my remaining thought

I stand up, to make the move. Knowing that even when I'm not aware of it, I'm writing my book.


V.

My boiling water

And there I was, next to the boiling water.
The kettle was boiling, I was boiling.... we were boiling at the same speed.
The water was transformed into air, and the salt sank heavily on the bottom.

There was not much more to say, nor to do
but I still decided to put the water to boil.
Now that I think about it - it seemed a duplicated scene.

It boiled, I watched, we connected.
It showed me the inside,
took me into a space I haven't been in a while
I cried...

They weren't tears of sorrow.
Sorrows left behind long before that moment.
Those were tears of letting go.
Each of them left me, transformed into air
I saw them pass by and waved goodbye
Thank you - I managed to say at the end

The water stopped boiling,
the tea was ready,
the soup as well.
All done, cooked and prepared.

I was not hungry any more,
had feed myself with air, silence and waiting
left the emptiness open, with no urge to fill it in
Gave away the tea, the soup, the salt
Now I was fine.



To boil the water, one needs to conceive a temperature of 100 degrees
it can happen in minutes, or it can take thousand years...
It all depends on how we raise the temperature.
Sometimes we are the master chef, that will set the fire and control the flame
some others, we are 'chef de plonge' watching our water being boiled at a speed we might not agree on.


But don't worry!
in one life time we all have the chance to play both roles.
Enjoy, be delighted, inspired and transformed...
at the end it is just a ride!


V.

Random acts of kindness

Random acts of kindness
spread all around the world
dripping into ones live 
like the waves in the water.
One random act of kindness
will soften your heart 
allowing it to breath once again


Touch someone's soul and yours would also be shaken
like the vibrating note in the air, 
that make the guitar and the piano sync into one rhythmic compass


It was under the tree that I discovered the meaning
not that I was looking for it, but it fell like the apple from the tree,
had such simplicity that I disregarded it immediately
What a fool I was!

After that, I have walked several year
trying to find an answer that was given even before I had asked.
Found many lovers that tried to explain it,
teachers that show me the path when I wasn't prepared to see it.

Grew!
only to discover that it was even harder to grasp,
bet the most important and purposely lost it
but couldn't understand it

Though it had to be that particular tree
the one that inspired it on my childhood time.
Only there could I find once again,
the meaning of it


And under my tree,
my dearest childhood tree
found a young lady
a beautiful one
that was,
somehow,
sat under a veil of wisdom

Wanted to explain her all I had gone through to get here and now
how many years had passed, how many stories I had lived,
why this all meant so much too me...

But as a random act of kindness sat next to her,
explained the enchanted melody of the tree
the magnificent beauty that she added to an already extraordinary place...
it was then... when like a thunder, the meaning stroke my living being one more time


V.

The beauty on your eyes

I can still remember their shape, their deepness.
Those beautiful eyes...
Those amazing story telling twins

They are composed by several shades
Brushed over with a semitransparent amber tone
With a magnificent frame that protects them
Thin line splashing out from that tiny centric spot

These story telling twins will be constantly talking to you
They'll tell you stories about the past and the future
Show you their happiness, sadness and frustrations
Give you a smile... the kind that lips would never be able to give

You will be irremediable connected with the universe
with the eternal and the meaningful
Have no chance to escape their enchantment
Be trapped forever, by an invisible yet perceptible force

...This is what awaits you once you encounter them!


May their kindness bless your path on earth.

V.

Heaven on earth

You,

I,

We...

Know.

She,

He,

They..

Don't.

Paradise, is a heaven on earth that we find with communion. 

 

Critic-all & critic- Ism

Write, wrote, written
That's what happened to the words

Read, read, read
Is what I did with them

Find, found, found 
Is what they allow me to do 

Tell, told, told
Is how I've transformed them

Point, pointed pointed 
Is how I've missused them

Judge, judged, judged 
What the outcome was 

Critic-all, critic-Ism
Was created

What is being done to the outside is being done to the inside.
Just stay silent and you will hear it...

V.

The search

How was it? - she asked
I waited some seconds, breathed in acknowledging that words wouldn't be sufficient and replied:

It was dark and unknown
I had no idea what it was or how to find it

Every time I thought I was close, it disappeared infront of my wide open eyes
Like an amazing trick played by a omnipotent magician 

I peeled every layer thinking that below them I'll find it
At the end the layers where gone and nothing appeared

It felt like the foam - so real, so tangible but impossible to grab in a close hand
Always managing to squeeze itself out 

I paused, trying to recall the search.
Feeling how disperse it was, how unholdable it seemed

She broke into the train of thought with another question

What have you concluded - she dare to ask with a smile

Concluded?! - I thought, but didn't manage to express it in words

Decided I was going to reply that question as well, even if we were just getting closer to the unspoken:

Nothing I guess, or perhaps everything
I made the most amazing quest 
Came with less than I took with me 
Empty hands followed me, when I had promised to bring something
Felt sad that I had discovered nothing at all
Fought with myself for being such naive guy

Yet still, the road managed to strengthen my feet without me noticing
A different me came back
I had lost things that were mine, but gained those that were free

I've, I've concluded nothing.
Couldn't. 
It was all 
Inconclusive...
Eternal...
I... 
I, well... 
Couldn't hold it

My eyes were watery by now.
It was again the same energy, the one that overflows me and reminds me it exist within and outside

She looked at me straight into the eyes. Watched through them, as if they were open windows.

Time paused there, in that instant.
That instant that lasted really long in my memory.

I was swimming... actually we were swimming in the same pool of universal energy. Like two unborns in the womb of their mother.

Then she broke the silence.
First with that smile on her eyes that I would forever admire.

Then her lips moved, I thought she was going to speak, but no sound at all came out.

Was it you who you were searching - she mentally ask

I surrended...
Lets the moment take me over, washed me out as a typhoon tide.

Didn't have to answer, as my thoughts would resonate around us clear and loud. Words, in any case, were useless. 

Looked back at her eyes, in this nakedness of ours. With my shame, sorrows, triumph and disappointment completely visible.

Opened my lips to say nothing at all
We needed no more answers or questions. 
Thank her in my own way as the moment vanished. Replied:

Now you know - as I started to melt into this new perspective of us


V.